One of the most difficult situations for children is finding out that their parents are divorcing and that they are going to live with one parent most of the time. They might feel as though they aren’t going to be able to have a relationship with the other parent. This isn’t a good thing for the kids to have to deal with. Unless there is a history of abuse or something that would make the child unsafe while they are with the non-custodial parent, the custodial parent should work hard to encourage a positive relationship between the other parent and the child.
The relationship is so important that some courts will base custody decisions on how likely one parent is to encourage it. You must remember that what happens now will impact your children forever. This isn’t the time to try to punish your ex for things that happened in the marriage. Instead, you have to put your energy into helping your children thrive and find the security they need now.
One thing that you must avoid at all costs is parental alienation. You can’t do things or say things for the purpose of making your child reject the other parent. It might help you to remember that just because your ex was a horrible spouse doesn’t mean that they are a bad parent. Think only about your children and leave your past with the other parent alone.
Your child custody agreement should set clear plans for everything related to the kids. If your ex isn’t going to have physical contact with the children, have terms for virtual visits set in the parenting plan so that the kids have easy ways to build that relationship.