Today, Family Law clients in Kentucky have many options in choosing how they want to resolve their domestic relations disputes.

MEDIATION

In Jefferson Family Court, there are ten Judges, who collectively handle about 17,500 new cases per year. This figure does not include family law cases that carry over from the previous years (old cases that are brought back to life as “post-divorce” actions for changes in child support, custody, visitation, maintenance, etc.).

Do the math to divide 35,000 cases (new cases plus cases revived from past years) by ten Judges and you can see for yourself the tremendous burden the local court system is under.

Couple that caseload with the cost of protracted litigation and the emotional toll of a full-blown divorce or custody battle and you’ll realize there must be a better way to end a marriage.

After you come to the realization that nobody wins in a divorce, after you understand that protecting and nurturing your children should be the primary goal, and after you consider who will most likely walk away with what and who will have to pay what, then you should be in a position to realize the potential benefits of resolving your divorce through mediation.

Bill Hoge's services as a mediator are available to resolve even seemingly hopeless, high-conflict situations.  Have your attorney contact us to schedule mediation.

What is mediation?

Mediation is defined by the Jefferson Family Court as:

An informal process in which a neutral third party or persons called a mediator or mediators act to facilitate the resolution of a dispute between two or more parties. The process is designed to help disputing parties reach an agreement on all or part of the issues in dispute. Mediation is based on principles of communication, negotiation, facilitation, and problem-solving that emphasize the needs and interests of the participants; fairness; procedural flexibility; privacy and confidentiality; full disclosure; and self determination. Decision-making authority remains at all times with the parties, not the mediator. [Emphasis added.]

In Jefferson County, it is standard procedure for the parties to attempt mediation before a trial will be scheduled.

Why mediate our differences?

With the help of an independent third party -- the mediator -- the divorcing couple can usually determine the issues that are really important to them and negotiate arrangements that come out of their own specific needs. A mediated resolution often costs less, takes less time and is usually less painful. It is always faster.

We are not proposing that any divorce be undertaken without the aid and guidance of a competent attorney, preferably one who focuses his or her attention on Family Law matters and who spends a considerable amount of time staying up-to-date on developments in this ever-changing area of practice.

Competent, reliable, knowledgeable legal counsel is still important, even if you and your spouse opt to attempt to mediate your disputed issues.

For one thing, only your attorney can draw your attention to important matters that might have slipped by you that will require mediation or adjudication. Mediators cannot look after your best interests -- their goal is to close the case.

What are the advantages of mediation?

Research has found that it takes approximately two (2) years following a divorce to recover from the overall stress and trauma -- even longer if high conflict was involved. [See Complete Guide to Mediation: Cutting-Edge Approach to Family Law Practice by Forrest S. Mosten, published by the American Bar Association’s Family Law Section.]

Poor communication between spouses is one of the most common reasons for divorce. The time to begin practicing good communication skills with your spouse is usually not when you are both in the throes of a bitter and acrimonious divorce battle.

Divorce mediators are specially trained, frequently being retired judges or family law attorneys who have committed themselves to helping people just like you resolve disputes.

Successful mediation can improve the former spouses’ relationship to the level that future communication is possible when they must deal with each other regarding the children of the marriage.

Although you may divorce your spouse, you will always be connected to him or her through the children. Children are defenseless when they are caught between battling parents. Mediation can be successful in focusing the parents' attention on what should be the primary objective: the future care and well-being of the children.

So often, divorce seems to boil down to who is going to walk away with what and the children are sometimes regarded as the "spoils of war" -- something to be "awarded" to the victor. Rational parents recognize that this attitude does nothing but damage the children through the strain it puts on your relationship with your former spouse and the children's relationship with their other parent.

If the mediator is open and supportive of the parties, the process can have benefits that are not possible in litigation.

Mediation allows clients to make use of their own values, goals and priorities to "custom build" a divorce agreement, tailor-made to suit their needs and legal rights.

When is mediation not advisable?

If you are a victim of domestic violence at the hands of your spouse and your spouse's attorney suggests or the court orders mediation, be absolutely certain your attorney fully understands the abuse you have suffered.

Mediation is generally not advisable when domestic violence is or has been present, although it is sometimes successful when the parties are kept isolated from one another and the mediator works by going from room to room, visiting the respective parties and their counsel.

How does mediation work?

When the parties agree to mediate or when the court orders mediation, a neutral third party specially trained and qualified to assist in domestic relations dispute resolution will be chosen by the parties or appointed by the court.

An appointment will be scheduled for the first mediation session. You will have the option of having your attorney present during mediation, which we strongly recommend. If you feel relatively comfortable speaking up for yourself and your attorney has discussed with you the issues at stake, perhaps your attorney will only need to review your legal agreement prior to execution.

Using principles such as those expressed in the book Getting to Yes by Roger Fisher and William Ury, a mediator will set about:

• Defining the parties' issues and setting an agenda
• Uncovering hidden interests
• Generating options for settlement
• Conducting final bargaining between the parties

The mediation process is usually conducted with both parties (with or without their attorneys) being present in the same room with the mediator. In high-conflict situations, the session is conducted with the parties in separate rooms.

Learn more about:

Litigation
Arbitration
Collaboration

Other important reading:

Choosing a Family Law Attorney
Controlling Legal Costs
What Lawyers Do
What Happens in a Divorce?
Dissolution Flow Chart (PDF)
Divorce Manual - A Client Handbook (PDF)